I really should be etiher studying or sleeping instead of posting on this blog. Sorry it has been so long since my last. Life is nuts right now and I really am just trying to hold on.
It is five days until our show and I am so glad that I have something tangible to hold on to. Do you ever feel like sometimes you are just going through life, not looking forward to anything or excited about much, but just going...well, I would feel like that if I didn't have the show.
I hate to get on my blog and be negative. It usually bores people, or just turns them off to you because they feel you are trying to have a pity party. But, honestly, I don't care. I feel like everyone around me is living a lie. Myself included. We are aimlessly walking around looking for something importan, or safe or secure, when it is all going to turn to ash in the end. All we have is Christ and we neglect Him over, and over, and over. We spit in his face. We buy into this lie about what is going to make us happy. We see other people living the lie too, so we think its ok. Makes me sick. I am sick, in fact. Got a headache. We don't follow our hearts, we don't live life to the fullest, we just play it safe. "Got my house, career, car, kids. I'm good" Spit on that.
I graduate in three months and as soon as I do, I'm going to grab one of these things in the picture I'm going to start really living; Living for Him, following my heart and shaking my head at the fools who don't and want to play it safe instead.
Isn't it funny how fast life can change? I look to songs sometimes to help me through situations. Yes, they are mostly country songs but that is why I love country music; there is a song for EVERYTHING. One song that I have listened to a lot is "Startin' with Me" by Jake Owen. The song doesn't fit my situations perfectly but I definetely know how he feels. Another song that has been helping me is "Measure of a Man" by Jack Ingrahm. When I saw him live he started the song by saying how him and his father never had a good relationship. Well, my father and I have a great relationship, and my real dad and I are starting to come along as well, but this is still a good song.
Through all of these things that happen to me, there is an upside: song writing. I have written a lot of stuff lately and I would like to share one of them with you. Enjoy.
So here you are at my doorstep this morning
Cryin’ cause you made a mistake.
You played with that line and you got burned just hopin’
It could be for love’s sake
Well I’ve had my share of sin and I know
It can really set you back
But its gonna take a whole lot more that what you can do,
To get you back on track.
So when you feel like the devil’s more than taken his toll
And you’re worried about the price and the fate of you soul
Pick yourself up and look to the word in the sky
And know that the one who put you here ain’t gonna leave you to die…
Now I’m not saying that you’re never gonna lose a fight
But the price has been paid we’ve all been cleaned in His sight.
What doesn’t kill ya only makes you stringer more,
We all may lose some battles son,
But He’s already won the war.