So my band has a show on Sept. 29th and through that much stress has been mounting. Between our equipment failure, getting members to show up to practices and trying to make ourselves prepared, tempers have flared and last night was the kicker.
This most certainly was not our first fight as brothers (Josh and I); We spent most of our childhood at each other's throught, on the verge of pummeling one another. However, since we created the band, it seems that it has brought us even closer, almost like a bond that must be their for the sake of something greater than our own egos. Last night showed me though, that this bond does not come without its territory. We were already both cranky, him from work and me from the stress of the upcoming show and Jason, our drummer, was tired from a long day that started at 5:00 am. To make it short, I had to walk away for a few minutes and gather my thoughts. When I came back, I decided it was best for the practice to end a little early and that is when things started getting hot. I voiced to Josh that he was being a jerk, (in not so kind wording) and he said to me that I was being sensitive. Ok, if you know both of us both of these statements are true but last night they were at their peak for both. If a girl had been standing there she might have been a little scared with two large young man in each other's face, but we both knew that it wouldn't come to blows. I left angry, halfway knowing he would call, only because I threatened him with leaving the band. I know, that is not a good thing to say. Anyways, Josh did call, much to my dismay and was very humble which is also uncharacteristic of him. But I know he did it for the sake of the band and how much he does want this to work.
I can't help but be reminded where God is in the midst of this. I don't give this issue to Him because I look at it as MY project that I must make work. I know I need to start letting him intervene, even in this and even if Jason, Josh and Charley aren't where I am spiritually.
Forgive me Lord, for not putting you first in this situation. Have you way with it, whatever it be.
Josh, I love you man, and I do want us to do this TOGETHER. You are my best friend.
2 comments:
Hey there..I love this blog mostly because I'm super excited to see you guys perform but also in the midst of all your choas and stress, the respect that you and josh have for eachother is something that I admire. Being able to work that closely with your brother and not end up behind bars for murder is something I dont know if i could do. Keep up the hard work. I know that you guys will be awsome!!!
Interesting to know.
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